The ANTecdote
Nursery Tour of Montana.
by Sarah Kmon The worms are wiggling and the daffodils are out. So are the little blue flowers that I don’t know the names of. So is the hose that I use for anything from washing muddy boots to filling up the dog’s water bowl – even though the dog wont touch the water, but instead, the orphan calf drinks out of it – even though she is supposed to drink out of the stream. Sorry, I took a tangent. My thoughts are about as organized as my garden. It is time (if you procrastinate like me) to be thinking about your garden. If you aren’t a procrastinator, you have been thinking about it for a while. I know nothing about gardening. All that is in my garden is the product of somebody else’s work. But that doesn’t stop me trying. I need help. Along this fenceline we had a pear tree die from “winterkill” (which means it froze) and I need to replace it. More specifically, I need a new tree here. I’d also like to add some mulch to my flower beds and vegetable garden and plant some pretty geraniums in the small bed by the front door. Where do I go to get the information I need and the plants I need? I will take you on a tour of four local (sort of) nurseries that would all help me answer this question as well as the other gardening queries I might have. Starting with Big Timber. Blake Nursery is open Mon-Sat 9-5.30 and Sun 12-5. Blake Nursery offers coupons on their website to help you save on items that you need, and their newsletter alerts you to special sales. They also have many educational articles to help you through your gardening season. In Great Falls, Forde Nursery. The nursery is open now through July: Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 8-5, and Sun 11-4. Forde Nursery is offering seminars throughout the summer. April 21st (tomorrow) is Gardening Smart followed by the effects and management of Noxious Weeds. April 28th is Pots for your Porch – The Art of Container Gardening. I love seminars. In Belgrade, Wagner Nursery (open 10-5) is having a Bareroot Tree and Shrub Sale April 23rd – 27th. OMG. This is exciting to me for two reasons. One, the tree I need that I told you about. I have no idea what kind of tree would be appropriate for that spot in the yard. In Meagher County. In Montana. Two, the tree that I don’t need but I want. I am leaning towards an Autumn Blaze Maple. But again that is because I know nothing about them. Last but local, The Garden Shop, in White Sulphur Springs is run by Pat. She doesn’t have a website but this is her phone number: 406-547-3822. She provided the flowers for my wedding, and gave me hints on how to make the tubs look as good as I could get them. This was the result I need to become educated, but until that happens (and it will with the help of these four nurseries) I will continue dreaming, planting, pruning, weeding, picking the wrong shrubs, and filling up the calf’s dog’s water bowl until I get it right.
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This Trip Will Satisfy Boozers and Birdwatchers
by Sarah Kmon We think you should come and visit Red Ants Pants via Great Falls. You may see a view like this if you do. But you must do it in March because Freezout Lake is the stopover point for as many as 300,000 snow geese and 10,000 tundra swans making their way to Canada from Texas. If you don’t like the idea of being a birdwatcher, you can shake that feeling in the evening by heading to the Sip n Dip Lounge – a bar with a window to the subsurface level of a swimming pool. Their claim to fame is that the bar was “‘named the #1 bar on earth worth flying for’ by GQ Magazine”. I guess it’s worth going to. On your way down to White Sulphur Springs the next day, plan a meal at the Lazy Doe in Monarch. When you get to White Sulphur Springs, check in to the All Seasons, and soak in the hotsprings, next door. Mmmmm. The next morning (make sure it isn’t a Sunday) soak again, eat breakfast at Dori’s on main street, then stop by Red Ants Pants for a chat, a hot drink, or the purchase of some durable women’s workpants. On your return to Great Falls from Red Ants Pants, stop in at the Harvest Moon Brewing Company in Belt, but not before you hit the slopes of Showdown for some late season skiing. Have fun!
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Images from the Store
Have you ever been to a store where clothes hang on deer antlers, and Quaking Aspen trees decorate the floor to ceiling inventory shelves? Oh? You have been to the Red Ants Pants store? Great. Well if you haven’t, here are some photos to give you an idea of what you might see, and if you have, here are some photos from angles I bet you didn’t look from (unless you were four years old at the time). I wasn’t kidding. Floor to ceiling inventory shelves. Getting the pants at the top is superfun. Call me wierd but…ok, call me really wierd, but I have a thing for these coathangers. I think because all the coathangers in my closet are flimsy metal. Not pretty wooden coathangers. Can anyone tell me where this dude is located? And did you look up at the original tin roof? Or lay your head flat on the belt table? Isn’t he cute? We are very proud that Red Ants Pants are made in the USA. What else should I take pictures of?
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Fun-Packed Early March Weekend Getaway in Montana
by Sarah Kmon Fly into Bozeman March 8th, get in the car and drive to White Sulphur Springs. I know you have been sitting in a plane all day, but do it anyway. Check into the Hotpsrings Spa and Motel, where you can soak in the evening and again in the morning. Eat breakfast on the 9th at Dori’s. Then come and see us at Red Ants Pants. We will be so very happy to see you. After you have told us all about yourself, drive south from White Sulphur towards Livingston. Walk around downtown Livingston and stretch your legs. Stop in to Chadz coffee shop. Then drive further south to Chico Hotsprings Resort and Dayspa. Soak in the heavenly waters at Chico, eat a delicious meal in their restaurant, and then dance your new Red Ants Pants off to Montana Rose, who are playing there that night. The next day, drive to Red Lodge. Every year, Red Lodge hosts the Ski-Joring National Finals. Spend the next two nights in Red Lodge and soak up the crazy atmosphere of Ski-Joring. Photo courtesy of Merv Coleman. One place to check out while you are in Red Lodge is Sam’s Tap Room. Drink hot cocoa in the snow, smell the horses’ sweat, experience the brief panic when you realize a skier is sliding full speed towards you unable to stop, before they turn at the last minute and jump an obstacle. Some homework for you – find out why the skiers slide effortlessly over the snowpacked surface, but the horses have traction even though they are wearing metal shoes. Go. Tweet us (@redantspants) or facebook us the answer. But ONLY if you went to Red Lodge to find out. On the 12th, fly home.
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An early-Valentines Montana Mini-Break
Treat your Love, because they deserve it and so do you. Here’s how to get them in the mood… Fly into Bozeman on Thursday, February 9th. If you live in Bozeman it is really important to complete this step. On Friday, spend the day cross-country skiing at Bohart Ranch. It is inexpensive and breathtakingly beautiful. The excercise and the fresh air will raise your Love’s endorphine levels to perfect Valentines Day counts. Drive on, over the mountains to White Sulphur Springs, and check into the All Seasons. It is the first hotel you come to as you arrive in White Sulphur. You’ll see this… on the way here. Spend the evening and the following morning soaking it the hotsprings. The hot water and chilly air, together with only wearing a bathing suit will relax your Love to Valentines Day levels of warm, mushy tenderness. Then come and visit our store. Buying your high-endorphined, warm, mushy, tender Love a pair of Red Ants Pants, will Seal. The. Deal. Nudge nudge. Wink wink. After that head back to Bozeman and party with Ten Foot Tall and 80 Proof who are playing at the Eagles Lodge in Bozeman. Allowing your Love to dance in your arms is just icing on the cake. Sunday, fly home. Smiling.
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A Week in Montana - Late January
by Sarah Kmon In the frosted emptiness glistening beauty that is Montana in January, there is so much fun, if you just know where to look. Here are some ideas for late-January, winter travel in Montana… (Note: I have left out some mealtimes and lodging. That doesn’t mean that I think you shouldn’t eat. But that I know that as a current or future Red Ants Pants-wearer you are competent and capable of organizing your own breakfast or lunch and finding a place to stay.) Fly into Bozeman on January 22nd. (If you already live in Montana, it would be wise to skip that part). Drive down Hwy 191 to West Yellowstone. On the 23rd, take a snowcoach tour of Yellowstone National Park. Take your cross country skis and have the coach drop you off so you can ski through the geysers and meet the coach at Old Faithful later in the day. On the 24th, Visit the Wolf and Grizzly Discovery Center and then head North on Hwy 287 to Three Forks. Check in to the Sacajawea Hotel. Eat and relax. On the 25th, continue north on Hwy 287 to Canyon Ferry Lake. Spend several hours iceskating on the smooth, glassy surface, then drive East from Townswend towards White Sulphur Springs. Check in to the Tenderfoot Motel and Cabins. Eat dinner at the Stockman Bar on Main Street. On the 26th, soak in the hotsprings then stop in at Red Ants Pants. In the afternoon head north towards Showdown Ski Area and spend the afternoon shoop-shooping on the slopes of the Little Belt Mountains. Spend the night in Neihart (to the North). Ski again in the morning (it is Showdown’s 75th Anniversary). Then drive south, past White Sulphur Springs, past Livingston, to Chico Hotsprings. Check in for the night. Soak your tired muscles and enjoy their delicious food. On the 28th, soak again, before or after your scrummy breakfast in the Chico Hotsprings dining room. Then head back to Bozeman. Eat lunch at Starky’s. Then stroll around downtown Bozeman, buying birthday presents and expensive rugs you didn’t know you needed. Eat dinner and stay your last night in Montana at the Gallatin River Lodge in Belgrade/Bozeman. Fly out of Bozeman on Sunday 29th.
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How to Spend a (very) Long Weekend in Montana in Early January
by Sarah Kmon Montana has a reputation of being horribly cold, inhospitable and uninhabitable in Winter. Well that’s true. But you don’t have to be an abononinmabible snowman to enjoy it. If spending four days in Montana in early January floats your boat, here’s what you can do. Fly into Bozeman Airport on Thursday, Jan 5th. (If you already live in Montana you can skip that part). Drive down Hwy 191 to the 320 Guest Ranch. Check in. Eat dinner in their enormous dining room then freeze your tootsies off on a moonlit sleigh ride and singe your eyebrows around their gigantic bonfire. Next morning, get some exercise. Go snowshoeing around the ranch or cross country skiing at Fawn Pass in Yellowstone National Park. Eat lunch at the Bugaboo cafe, just near the yellow light by the turn up to Big Sky on Hwy 191. In the afternoon drive up to Belgrade and check into the Gallatin River Lodge. Relax. Settle. Take a nap. Eat dinner in their dining room (their food is fantastic) then get yourself gussied up and head to Bozeman. Ten foot tall and 80 proof are playing at the Crystal Bar on main street, and they are awesome. We know, because they played at the 2011 Red Ants Pants Music Festival. We were there. Saturday the 7th head towards the Bridger Mountains and shred some sick powder on the gnarly slopes of Bridger Bowl (dude). In the evening, eat dinner at Blackbird. Then head back to the comfort of the Gallatin River Lodge. If you got a jacuzzi in your room, use it. Sunday morning head back to Bozeman. Tour the historic downtown. Buy a strange oil painting of a horse. Eat the best lunch in town at the Bozeman Coop, amongst cowboys and hippies. Once you are done, head back towards the ski hill but keep going on towards White Sulphur Springs. If you need directions you can call us (406-547-3781) or tweet us (@redantspants) and we’ll help you out. When you get to White Sulphur Springs, check into the Hotsprings Spa and Motel. They have a new wing and a new pool. You can get into the new pool, heat up your tired skiing and snowshoeing muscles and get heavenly sleepy in the hot water under the chilly air. Eat dinner at Dempsey’s. Early Monday morning, soak in the hotsprings one last time, then stop at Red Ants Pants. We don’t open until ten so you have plenty of time to check out of the Spa. Once we’ve talked your ear off, and Nellie… …has showered you with kisses, you must head back to Bozeman to catch your flight home on Tuesday morning. See? It’s very simple. P.S. we are not a tourist information or booking center. You have to do all that by yourself. We just make pants. Good ones. P.P.S The rules are that you have to come and visit us. Those are the rules.
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Two Kinds of Shipping
by Sarah Kmon In cow country, there is a thing called “shipping”. Just, as I’m sure, there is “shipping” in Lapland. Only we ship cows, not presents. And we don’t care if you’ve been naughty or nice. Shipping in Montana is the release of weanling calves to their new owners by sending (or shipping) them off to their new zip code. The first thing that happens is the separation of the appropriate type of bovine – cow from calf, or heifers from steers. This often involves cowboys. It’s a lot of fun. But there is some serious work too. Like counting brands, or counting cows, or calves. But not sheep. You don’t count sheep when you’re supposed to be working. The cowboys ride sweaty horses, (different from Lapland, where they have reindeer) and are usually supernice. Sometimes they have painfully cute dogs that you want to take home while no-one’s looking. I’ve never seen it happen, but I suspect that the cowboys would not be so supernice if you tried it. Anyway, back to shipping. Shipping here usually takes place in late October/early November – not December, like in Lapland. Shipping involves lots of people, not elves. And I’m pretty sure Lapland would wrap a big bow around any dog you wanted. It’s just not cool to do that here. However, cow country is still very awesome. We like it here.
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Donkey Basketball Champions!!!
There are many benefits to living in small town Montana. One of my favorites is that we get to play donkey basketball. For those of you who have not had the opportunity to view or even play this dangerous and tremendously entertaining ‘sport’, it involves 2 teams, 10 donkeys, one basketball and an entire high school gym full of town folk out for a good laugh. Getting Psyched The rules are similar to regular basketball, except for the only way to move about the court is while riding a donkey. True story. Luckily no dribbling is required. However, it is required that you figure out how to mount a donkey, often while holding a basketball and the donkey is on the move while you’re trying to mount (believe me, this is way harder than it sounds). It is quite possible to most ridiculous and unflattering sport imaginable. But so much damn fun. Especially when when the Red Ants Pants team beats the men’s basketball team, and the junior class team, and the Search and Rescue team and is declared CHAMPION!!! In a grown up world where the thrill of playing team sports has been diminished to high school memories, I won’t deny that it felt really good to win. Here’s to the donkeys that carried us to victory!! Thanks team!! Julie, Anna, Jen, Nancy, Sarah and Darcy...The Champion Team!
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